Half Term Horrors

Half Term Horrors

by | Feb 25, 2020 | confidence, Keep it simple

So half term is over… and I need to ask, how was it for you?

Did you spend yet another year wishing you were anywhere else but the ski slopes? Did you spend your hard earned holiday yet again crying, angry and scared?

Well PLEASE! Let that be the last time! I have the answer! I can help!

My biggest wish is that people would realise that getting rid of your fear and building your skiing confidence is more simple than you think. My book on Amazon is short, simple, inexpensive and best of all EFFECTIVE! Just read below what happened to Vicki when she took the leap of faith and spent less than a lunch on the hill when she bought my book.

What follows is the unsolicited email I received from her:

“I’ve had so many weeks skiing and each year have become more fearful, anxious, upset and frustrated. My husband and friends are mad for it, but for some reason I have never truly enjoyed skiing. So before our annual trip this year I decided to do something different. I initially looked at therapy, but decided it didn’t really fit with me. After a few internet searches I found your book and downloaded it to my kindle.

I completely connected with your words and in so many places I laughed out loud as it felt like you were writing about me! I then decided that I wanted a hard copy of the book, mainly so I could flick through and add notes. I took the book with me as you suggested, chose what to focus on and kept my diary. I actually cannot believe the transformation. Instantly I was standing tall, taking up my space and telling myself “1 and 2 and turn”, I also developed a little ‘thing’ where I focus on my breathing, posture and told the demon in my head to F off. My husband, Phil, could not believe how different I looked and he was so complimentary and just so lovely. I have no idea if my actual technique improved, in fact I couldn’t give a stuff if it had improved or not. I was able to control my fear, relax and smile, laugh and joke my way down some slopes that in previous years I had sworn, frozen and cried down.

Our daughter Florence who is 5 skied with us and saw me happy and having fun, this definitely helped her to feel confident too.

This year I skied from the very top to the bottom of the mountain, we stuck to green and blue slopes, but I did it and blooming loved it. It has been the best ski week I/we have ever had.

I could go on and on…. but the only other thing I want to say is thank you. I hope you know what a difference you have made.

Vicki”

If you want what Vicki has experienced head over to Amazon & buy my book now https://amzn.to/3c8W1eE
https://amzn.to/2TaXcSp

Watch your language!

Watch your language!

by | Jan 6, 2020 | confidence, Language

If you know anything about me at all you will know my strong belief around how the language you use, to both yourself and others, influences and directs your life.

Recently I’ve been listening to different programs ranging from meditation to mobility for exercise and over and over again am jarred by a particular three letter word…

If you’ve read my book, watched my free videos or done my online course you will know EXACTLY what I am talking about. That word is…

TRY!

As Yoda wisely states “Do or do not, there is no try”

When you say you will try, or someone asks you to try, you immediately have a get out clause, an excuse for not achieving.

I suggest to my clients they eliminate this word from their vocabulary. Simple right?

As soon as they think about doing this they immediately notice how often they use the word. So what do you replace it with?

Here are a few suggestions I give:

Replace it with ‘I’ll do my best’ Test the difference between this and ‘try’.

When you tell yourself and others you will do your best, that is exactly what you will do. It won’t be a half-hearted ‘attempt’ (another word for try) You will do your very best to achieve what is asked of you. And let’s face it, your best is all you can do, and all you can do is enough!

The other option I use is to replace try with ‘focus on’. Again, test it out. Feel the difference between “Try to touch your toes” and “Focus on touching your toes”

The first one sets you up for failure (that’s another word that needs addressing), the second gives you a focus, it gives you a slider, a measure of where you now. It fills in the grey between the black and white of touching your toes and not.

You focus on your toes and do the best you can. You won’t feel the all or nothing of ‘trying’. And the next time you focus on that movement you may get a little further.

“Focussing on” gives room for progression, improvement.

If you need more help check out my free video series here www.skiwithconfidence.com/home

Do you believe you can change your beliefs?

Do you believe you can change your beliefs?

by | Feb 2, 2019 | beliefs, confidence, Thoughts

Do you believe you can change your beliefs?

Now there’s a question…

A while back I was a distributor for a well-known UK based, Magnotherapy company and had been asked to give a talk on Beliefs and the place they hold in building your business.

The concept of magnotherapy itself brings up a great deal about belief, placebo effect and such like but I was talking to self employed entrepreneurs about how their belief effects their success.

I opened the talk with this simple question…

Do you believe you can change your beliefs?

I clearly remember an older chap, sitting in the front row, stern face, arms crossed who immediately shouted out with absolute certainty

“NO!”

I looked him square in the eye and told him he was right.

He looked confused. He expected an argument. But he was indeed right. His belief that he cannot change his belief, keeps his belief intact. To experience anything other than that belief is impossible. Of course, the caveat here is ‘without conscious effort’.

Our beliefs help us make sense of our world, they create our reality. If one of your beliefs is shown to be untrue, your world is rocked, and you start to question everything else you hold true.

So let me ask you some questions…

  • Do you believe you are a fearful skier?
  • Do you believe you can overcome this fear and learn to enjoy your skiing?
  • Do you believe doing this is difficult, will take a lot of hard work and a long time?

or

  • Do you believe that anything is possible? That you have untapped potential? That you can affect your outer world simply by addressing your inner world?
  • and that change is easy?

Whatever you answered to every one of those questions is true for you! Your answers highlight your deep-seated beliefs.

But now let me ask you again…

Do you believe you can change your beliefs?

If you can reach out to the new possibility or even simply imagine for a moment that this belief is true, then you are ready for change. You are ready to take your fear by the throat, look it in the eye, smile and say goodbye, secure in the knowledge that you can and will change.  

And of course, there are no pre-requisites or qualifications needed for you to take my online course except maybe to believe change is inevitable when you do. 

 

 

Beware the Skiing Bullies

Beware the Skiing Bullies

by | Oct 23, 2018 | bullying, confidence

Back in the day, when I was a quaking wreck out there on the slopes I noticed something very sad about skiing…

It appeared to bring out the inner bully in some people.

I skied with many mixed groups. Groups of people I didn’t know and therefore had no idea of what they were like in the ‘real’ world.

Of course, there were the normal group dynamics on show, the Alpha males strutting their stuff, the connectors, the people pleasers et al and as we met in the airport or the chalet lounge on that first day I generally came to the conclusion that on the whole, they were a great bunch of people, mostly passionate about skiing. I say mostly as there was nearly always a wife or girlfriend who obviously really would have preferred to be holidaying somewhere far, far away from the snow! (This is not a generalisation, in my experience these group members were always female!)

But….

The following morning, starting as early as the breakfast table and growing as we entered the boot room, the Jekyll & Hyde-like transformations of personality began.

The BULLIES reared their ugly heads.

These people became louder, more opinionated, started fighting (linguistically not physically thankfully) for the position of leader. They determined where we were going to ski and never once appeared to give any consideration for the range of ability (or lack thereof) within the group, also giving no thought to the fact that most of the group had not donned a pair of skis for at least a year!

The meek in this instance did not rule the world, they simply followed on becoming quieter and almost visibly smaller. We trailed along at the back of the group and when the bully up front decided they personally needed a rest, they would stop. And when they were recovered enough would set off again, usually as soon as, if not before, the tail end stragglers had even caught up let alone caught their breath.

This to me is nothing less than BULLYING.

And when you are already lacking in confidence their behaviour simply makes matters worse.

Of course, now, with my training, experience and the wonderful gift of hindsight, I can see these people for who they really are, and what emotion is driving their behaviour. And that is…

FEAR!

Yes, they are as fearful as the novice skier facing their first green run.

Let’s take a look at their fears:

  • They are frightened of not being in control
  • Of being led down a slope they don’t feel confident on
  • Of being left behind
  • Of holding people up
  • Of the unknown
  • Of looking silly
  • Of not being the best

Hmmmm…. Strange that. When I ask my clients what is their greatest fear on the slopes, the answers are exactly the same!

So, with the season approaching (for the northern hemisphere that is) how can you prepare to handle these bullies and not let them strip away your confidence even further? Here are my top tips:

  1. Use your voice. Learn to say NO. Practice this off the slopes before you get there, but be ready for some major life enhancing changes!
  2. Know where you are on the hill at all times. Learn NOT to follow blindly.
  3. Be clear and open with your feelings. Make sure there is someone in your group who you trust to support you.
  4. Use your physiology to stay strong. Do not shrink like a fading violet. Keep your chin up (literally) and your core engaged.
  5. Refuse to do anything that makes you feel unsafe. If they want to take you down a black run (because they want to go down a black run) refuse. Stand your ground. If you’ve followed tip number 2 then you will know there’s a safer, easier route down for you. I guarantee someone within your group is feeling the same way and will volunteer readily to accompany you.

And of course, there is always the option to choose another group! While sometimes this may appear impossible you can borrow my belief that there is always a way!

As I say in my book ‘Skiing with Confidence: Stunningly Simple Steps to Overcome your FEAR on the Slopes and Transform your Skiing’ this is YOUR holiday, YOU have spent your hard earned cash to be there and you well & truly deserve to enjoy the experience.